Accomplishment & Self-doubt

On Tuesday I completed my C25k programme, yay! I felt so proud and happy. I am really impressed by this programme, it helped me a lot and pushed me into running for longer after struggling for so long on my own.  Although the programme is called Couch to 5k, it only helped me to run for 30 minutes straight (with extra walking for a warm up and cool down), but I can't run a 5k in the time frame expected as yet.  For instance, this morning I ran for 30 minutes, walked 3 minutes to rest a bit and then ran 10 more minutes and in the 43 minutes I ran for a total of 4.75 km. So I basically now just have to work on my speed.  My plan is to try every morning to fit a 5 km into my allotted exercise time (I only have about 40 to 45 minutes) - I am nearly there.  After that I want to push to get the 5 km done in 40 minutes and then I'll take it from there again and plan new goals.

Even though I completed the programme this week, I experienced a lot of self-doubt since Monday. I think it has a little bit to do with the running app I downloaded to monitor my speed, so I see that it takes me 9:15 to run a km and I want to do better. Now I have these negative feelings towards myself - I am too slow... I am not good enough... Am I really a runner? I lost almost 4 kg this past 3 months, but thinking it's also too slow and not good enough even though I worked my ass off for it.  Saw pics hubby took of me yesterday and I look fatter than I feel :( Oh and my ankle hurts from an old injury, my calves pain, I am stiff from my run. Urgh, I know I am being silly and I will get over myself, but blegh... just blegh.

This popped up in my news feed yesterday and I need to remind myself of this on a more regular basis.

Note to myself from myself:

You did bloody well, girl, you have come so far. Keep going and stop doubting yourself, you will keep going and accomplish a whole lot more, I just know it.  Your body is changing and you can feel it, people comment on it and even though it's slow-going, it's going. You will make yourself proud, you will make your hubby and children proud. Don't care about the opinions of those who does not care for your journey. Love yourself, love your body - it's doing an amazing job, love how strong you are getting, love your accomplishments. You go girl, am rooting for you! xxx