Fighting

Every single day I am fighting a battle. I am fighting with myself, I am fighting cravings, I fight against laziness, I fight and I fight hard.  It is a battle I wish to win.  This year is my year, this here is my song, my fight song.

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

Hello 2016!

Oh wow, more than two months since I updated here - not because I did not honour myself and stuck to my journey, but rather because of hectic hecticness in my life on a personal level. So herewith my long overdue update of what I've been up to since November!

In November I continued along counting macros and exercising. I did a lot of Jilian Michaels and Kayla Itsines workouts.  Then December came and I bought myself a barbell and some weights and started lifting!  I really enjoy working with heavy weights and so far dead lifts are my favourite. I also started jogging again on alternate days, or rather walking/running/walking/running whilst tracking with a wonderful app called Runtastic so it's easy to constantly motivate myself to do better, to do a km quicker, to go further, to perform better.  I really found my fitness groove in December.  I carried on with this for most of December but lost a bit of mojo after Christmas until I started working again.

Eating-wise was not so great after I went on leave. I did try, but with kids and hubby and lots of things to do, it's so much quicker to grab a piece of toast on the run in the morning than prepare my usual oatmeal, smoothie or eggs. I also had far too many ciders, glasses of wine, sweet desserts and chocolates, but I don't regret one single calorie. There are 52 weeks in a year and if I take 3 weeks off to relax a bit, it certainly isn't the end of the world!

My scale's battery went dead around beginning December and I decided not to replace the battery for a while and stay off the scale and I must say it's liberating! I realise now that I've used the scale as my only/most important measure of success and it's just not right.  So I concentrate now more on how I feel, if I stuck to my macros daily, if I reached my fitness goals for the week, if I pushed myself hard enough and if I bettered myself in any way. I must say, it feels awesome, it means a lot to me to do it this way and it helps my journey to self-love and acceptance immensely.  Will I weigh again? Yes most definitely... When?  Gosh I'm not sure perhaps before Vday, perhaps before then or perhaps at the end of next month - I will still decide.

Now I've been back on the wagon for a week and I continued where I left off - with lifting and running and eating the IIFYM way. First week almost done and dusted and it's been a good one!  I even managed to stick to my macros over the weekend. Even went out for a big breakfast this morning, although it means I'm on poverty macros for the rest of the day.

My goals for the year? I usually say I want to lose x amount of kilograms, but this year my goals are to get more fit, lift heavier and get stronger, run faster and further and lose a bucket load of cm and tone up. I really want to fit in smaller clothing sizes. In all reality if I accomplish the above the figure on the scale WILL go down, so yay.

Here's to a fit and fab 2016!

This motivates me!

I absolutely love this, because it hits so close to home! I'm not doing this only for myself, but for two pairs of eyes watching me intently. THIS video motivates, inspires and puts a tear in my eye - because THIS is what keeps be going when I don't have an ounce of strength left in me.

Inspiration

I thought this was incredibly true, incredibly powerful!

September Progress

The first month of Spring went by in a flash, it was a super busy month. I did not even get a chance to update about my journey during September.

I started the month out with the T25 Focus workouts and following Reboot, and although I enjoyed the workouts and the way of eating. This time it just did not work for me how it should have. The workouts were fast paced and I loved it, but after following the BBG guide, two weeks in it felt like I was losing muscle tone. Plus the scale was standing still.  Then on the 22nd I started a 3-day Soup detox. My third day was right on Braai Day, and it was tough, but I persisted.  I really enjoyed the detox because the soup recipes were divine - I made 4 of them and enjoyed them all. (link for future use ). I never went hungry, halleluja!

After the detox I went back to the IIFYM way. I recalculated my macros and went to the IIFYM Women FB community for help and validation. The ladies there are kind and compassionate and they helped me on my way again. This time I have much lower macros than what Laura worked out for me originally, but they are in line with someone else's who had her macro's calculated by a professional and who is the same length and weight as me. I feel much more comfortable eating 1600 odd calories vs 2200, that is for sure. I think if I persist with this macros I will get the scale to move again. I am now on my 7th day in, BUT I got sick again, so I'm not exercising right now - which is a bit of a downfall...again. I can't control when I get sick, but luckily I can control what goes into my mouth - so I have to be strong and keep that in check.

I did however restart Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred and I completed the first 5 days before getting sick. I also started working out, doing deadlifts and swings with hubby's 12 kg kettlebell. So can't wait to get going with that again.

At the end of August I bought myself new denim shorts and I bought them a tiny bit too small. I could barely close the button, my tummy bulged as I tried to squeeze into it and the zipper didn't go to the top. It was my goal during September to get into those shorts properly and thank goodness I succeeded and it fits better. I won't wear it quite yet, but I'm hoping by next month I will feel more confident to put it on. I just need a tan to go with it!

So today is the first day of October and it's going to be another busy month. My plans are to continue with my new macros and as soon as I feel better I will continue with the 30 Day Shred and kettlebell workouts. Strong is the new skinny!

A friend sent the following to me and I can't begin to explain how much this means to me, because it is so true, it's so me. I will keep fighting this fight. And I am winning - not cm by cm or kg by kg, but rather mm by mm and gram by gram. Slow and steady - Rome was not built in a day. I can't re-sculpt my whole being, my whole body in a few weeks. The butterfly is emerging!

Spring Fling!

I am so excited for Spring starting tomorrow! I look forward to mornings at the beach in glorious sunshine, picnics outside with the kids and wearing summer clothes again! But then again, I have a lot of work to do before I would feel comfortable in my strappy dresses and I would love to wear shorts again some time in the future, hopefully this summer!  I actually went out and bought myself a pair of denim shorts yesterday and they are horribly to small for me - I can barely get the button done and then my tummy bulges - it ain't a pretty picture!  Think as soon as I'm done posting this I need to go take a photo and use this as a progress pic - would love it to fit properly soon!

Yeah I know, I have ended each sentence with an exclamation mark!!! That's how pumped up I am for what has started today :)

Today I started a brand new 30 day challenge.  I'm doing a modified Reboot. The only modification at this stage is I am allowing myself half a cup of milk today and my whey protein shake - it really boosted me and I don't want to stop with it at the moment, but I will monitor and see over the next 10 or so days and if it's not working I will stop taking that too.  This is where my focus will be in September - eating clean again!

Talking about FOCUS - I have started Shaun T's Focus T25 programme. It's a series of wonderfully short workouts (25 minutes plus cool down). Even though it's short, it is power packed and I look forward to doing it. I have done the cardio part during my cardio days this last month so I am already a bit familiar with that part.  Fridays I'm supposed to do a double session and Saturdays is called Staturday when you measure your progress and weigh in. On Sundays you do stretches.  I am amped for this and will follow this for two months - the Alpha and Beta part.

Okay, ready... set.... here I go! Gonna super charge this next 30 days and see what can be done in 1 month! Fingers crossed.... but don't wish me luck, wish determination for me, and strength to keep strong for Reboot. It's been two years since I've done a Reboot.....eeeeeek!

Winter Challenge Complete!

Woweeee August was a tough month with a lot of sickness, sadness and bad luck, but through it all I completed my 12-week Kayla Itsines' Bikini Body Guide workouts. It got freaking TOUGH! And then again, so did I :) I feel quite an achievement completing it, wanted to give up so many times, but somehow kept going, I still don't know how!  I kept eating the IIFYM way, although found some weekends in August tough and fell off the wagon sometimes, but Monday to Friday I kept at it 100%.

Herewith my results - most importantly what I physically experience:

• I feel so fit, I definitely improved my fitness level immensely.
• I see a lot less cellulite on my thighs.
• I can see and feel my tummy and bum sculpting and getting a lot slimmer. My bum lifting and my tummy getting flatter, pouch getting smaller.
• My calves are also taking shape.
• Boobs are getting smaller  - yay yay yay!
• Double chin diminishing and face looks thinner to me.
• Even though I get the bare minimum sleep and is a walking zombie I somehow supercharge my workouts and get through them and afterwards feel more energized and that gets me through the day... well until 8pm when I fall asleep involuntary on the couch or my husband's lap during cuddle time.
• See muscle definition forming in my arms, very slightly. Unfortunately I still have a lot of fat around triceps, so it still looks yuck.

Then my measurements.  I have lost a total of 36 cm.  12 From my tummy, 6 around hips, 5 around thighs, 5 around bust etc.

Less importantly the scale. It did not move in August, and I see a small gain for the month after I lost a little bit during June and July.  Yes, we've talked about how the scale does not indicate fat loss or increase of lean muscle mass, and although I would love to get out of the trucking 80's (which bothers me a freaking lot), I made peace with it, because my 3 month progress pics are incredible!  I am proud of my Winter progress, I did not rest on my laurels and it paid off.  Without further a do:

Remember = 3 Months from now you will thank yourself?  So thank you, dearest Debs. With love from your body <3 We made great progress and are much healthier and that's a humongous win!

Does it end here?  No, it certainly does not! From Monday a brand new, super-charged 30 day challenge!  Will blog about it more next week!